that’s my life!!!

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SAD;xue yi

Why do adults always like to compare their children? The school teachers always compare classes how I wish I could ask them to stop comparing. Each class is different. And all human are all different so what’s the point of comparing? Do they know that this will make people more stress? My father always says I am useless and I feel like asking him back do you think you are very good. To me no one in the world is perfect. Even if I am intelligent or pretty but there must be a point that I am lousy at. So can all adults stop comparing???!!!! Today got the iconnexion exercise, but it’s so lag one. So frustrated one, the school is so stupid one squeeze hundred plus people in the web, they should assign a class with a time to log in. Now I need to log off and go tuition (6.30pm). So sian…

LIFE’S SO BORING!!!!

xiao xue = a sad girl

I shouldn’t write that letter to Clara and tell her about how I feel living in this world, as her mother is very kpo when she saw the content of it, she called my form teacher and told him about it and that doesn’t help at all. Than now I kena counselling. And the teacher says that the school counsellor can help me solve my problems. But one thing not bad is that I can play the soft toys there, eating sweets and skip away two periods of lessons. Hope that she always choose the English lesson because I hate to see mdm fauziah.” I really had to thanks Clara’s mother for getting me counseling session!!!” as in the way of thank you for adding more trouble for me.

Today also go to safra and play two rounds of bowling. I got 88 in the first round than the second round I got 60+. Don’t really remember it but I am still lousy at it. Exam is coming soon. I need to study real hard for science as to prove that I never cheat in the stupid test. Really hate that teacher!!!

xiao xue = a sad girl

School has started today. So tired how I wish I can rest for one more week and that’s enough. I really have to buck on my studies. I don’t want to disappoint my mother because I really let down her.

I really feel that I am useless, as when I am doing a project I can’t help anything much. Almost everything that I completed is done under the help of my friends. Am I useless? Or I am good for nothing.

I don’t know what I am doing now… I can feel that I am lost in this world. Can anyone lead me to the right path that I should walk?

LIFE IS FULL OF SADNESS

I FEEL HOPELESS

I FEEL USELESS

HATRED FOR MY LIFE

xiao xue = a sad gal

Today go to kbox with LAMYAN, ZI XUAN and CHING YEE… I really enjoy it, today I sing like siao de. Even though now my life is very atrocious now but I really have to cherish my times with all my friends. Maybe I will leave this world suddenly. I hope that if I really need to leave this world one day I will have no regrets and I have already fulfilled all my dreams. For now I can only hope and wish that my life will turn better.

What is love? Can anyone tell me? My family doesn’t give my love, care and concern.

I FEEL HOPELESS.

I FEEL USELESS.

MY LIFE IS FULL OF SADNESS.

xiao xue = a sad girl

After one week plus, I am going to be sick again. I am getting back my flu and cough again!!! Maybe I will get my fever tomorrow. Now I am feeling a bit giddy which I hate it!!! This few days got a lot of bad things happen to my friend and me. Which I hope that it won’t happen to me after the holiday end…

Last of all I really wish to spend my holiday time with my friends happily…All I could do is to wish I dare not think that living happily will happen to me!!! HATRED FOR LIFE!!!

I am so happy to online again after having my computer to be repaired. I have wait for nearly two weeks for my computer to get repair. Life is still the same. Before Chinese new year I had a quarrel with my father, this makes me hate him more as he always think that he’s right but in fact he’s wrong. I ignore him for around one and a half weeks, now I started to talk to him a bit, but this cannot make me not to hate him.

For the time being I only want to focus on my studies and not other things and try not to think too much. It should be put in the way that I want to let numb myself with a lot of work so that I won’t think about my family and sad things that happen to me. But I don’t know why I still hate myself to live in this world, which I think I shouldn’t live in this world it will only add on more burden to my parents for having a daughter like me…

I am feeling very sad for the whole day yesterday. It’s like for no reason like that. My friends talk to me I also cannot smile eat all. Yesterday I receive some presents from some unknowns I wish that I could know who that person is. I don’t know who will understand me. So do you think you know me well?

Today also got nothing special happen. Just only today I go tampines mall with Clara only and she brought a pair of shoe and nothing special happen. Now I am feeling so bored got nothing to do now.

Life’s really full of sadness. I just simply hate myself and my life. Every time I go home I will pray that I will never hear my parents quarreling and my brother quarreling with them. Nothing in the world can change my sadness for this world if only a miracle happen. Can my life be brighter or it will be forever in the darkness. So who can change my life entirely? I don’t trust anyone now not even myself.

I REALLY HATE MYSELF AND MY LIFE!!!!!!

Yesterday I was like half dead. I was sent home from school because I got fever. I take my body temperature in school it gone up to 38.5 degree Celsius. Than my father come to school to fetch me, he took me to a doctor and I was diagnosed with fever, flu and sore throat. When I reach home I lie down on my bed immediately cause I don’t have any strength and feel like fainting. Yesterday night my body temperature rise to 39.1 degree Celsius and I felt like I was going to die.

Today I am feeling better at least my body temperature now is 37.4 degree Celsius. Just only one thing I hate most which is whenever I am sick I got to eat plain porridge for almost every meal. I also never go out because I scare that I will pass my virus to others. Don’t know why I today also feel like very sad for no reason…

][xiao xue][ = ][xue yi][

Today I had gone for the interview for the student council. But I don’t think that I will get in, it’s ok because I don’t really care much about it. Just now my mother almost find out that I want to cut myself with a penknife. I cut myself is not because I cut for fun. I cut myself is because I want to let my stress out.

I would rather that I never been born to this world than having to live in this world. Life’s complicated to me!!! My world has got only 4 walls and is full of darkness. I don’t know when wills my world be full of brightness. I don’t really want to face the reality of life…

What I know now is that I really hate myself!!! Can anyone tell me what’s the point of me to live in this world??? If I have got a choice I will choose not to live in this world. Now I am struggling on whether I should live in this world…

][xiao xue][ = ][xue yi][